Goodbye Mom
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2018-09-09 11:58 by Karl Denninger
in Musings , 232 references Ignore this thread
Goodbye Mom
[Comments enabled]

On September 4th my Mom, age 88, passed.

She had a tumor removed from her colon a couple of years ago and subsequently refused both chemo and radiation.  The outcome was thus not in doubt from that point forward; indeed it never is in doubt for all of us, but that the amount of sand in her hourglass was known to be limited came into sharp focus at that point.  Nonetheless the fullness of time validated her refusal to submit to the proscriptions of so-called medical professionals; instead of suffering the ignobility and debilitation resulting from irradiation and chemical preparations of questionable value she enjoyed years of a full life beyond surgery with only minimal convalescence and recovery.

I was not there when she actually died, but was with her a couple of days prior; bad timing and the vagaries of being unable to predict when a sudden collapse in one's vitals will occur in such a case was the reason I was not at her side. Sarah and I were in transit to her, near Nashville, when we got the news.  But the few days prior when I was there she was lucid and, while bed-bound, mentally "all present and accounted for", and was clearly at peace with a passing she knew was not very far in the future.  She had only been confined to bed for about a week at the time of her death, and died peacefully without pain.

There's utterly no argument anyone can make about such a means and method of passing into death.  To make it to nearly 90, to be able to get around and perform the ordinary functions of life until a week before you go, and to be lucid and have your mental faculties until the days remaining can be counted on the fingers of one hand pretty-much defines "a good death."

So the passing of my Mom is not to be mourned, for she was not taken in a violent or painful way, or in any way against her wishes.  Having been widowed a number of years earlier when my Dad died and surviving all but one of her close friends she had few remaining things she wanted to accomplish in her life.  Sadly, arguably the most-serious of such remaining tasks on her personal list, and one I was aware of for years, went unfulfilled.

I will not belabor that which was and was not done and whether different decisions might have led to a different outcome in that regard.  We all make our decisions as we think correct in weighing the choices we have and the known and expected consequences, and to agree or not is everyone else's prerogative.  On these issues she and I disagreed and she was well-aware of that, but I respected her choices.

Rest easy Mom -- you had a good run.

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User Info Goodbye Mom in forum [Market-Ticker]
Billz
Posts: 520
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A True American Patriot!
Maryland
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My condolences to you and your family, Karl. It is a great thing, however to celebrate a long life well lived.
Maynard
Posts: 713
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gig harbor wa
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Sorry for your loss, glad she went her way in Peace.
Dcsleeper
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Northern VA
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She was a great one to begat you.

My sincerest condolences.
Goldmanssack
Posts: 1971
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38320 / 07849
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I'm sorry for your loss. Sounds like she did have a good long run, and chose her own way. My family's thoughts are with yours.

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"There's a signpost on the corner and it keeps everybody safe. We were all made in the shade." Greg Graffin, The Defense
Bagbalm
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Just North of Detroit
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Glad she had so many good years and died with dignity.
Tarmoney
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A True American Patriot!
LI, NY
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Karl, my condolences. It's good to know she did it her way.

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Nickdanger
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I'm sorry for your loss, Karl. After losing my parents at a young age (father 64 and mother 72), it must have been a blessing to have her in your life for as long as she lived. I'm glad she chose to go in her own way.

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Gable
Posts: 833
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Retired in NC Mountains
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Sorry for your loss Karl. I lost my mom when she was 57 (breast cancer)and I was 33. Your mom was lucky in many ways to live so long and go so quickly.





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Asimov
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Quote:
To make it to nearly 90, to be able to get around and perform the ordinary functions of life until a week before you go, and to be lucid and have your mental faculties


I hope I'm that lucky and I'm happy for her and your family that she was. I imagine that helps tremendously in holding onto the good memories.

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Wa9jml
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DeKalb, Illinois
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May your Mom Rest in Peace, Karl.

My Mom was in the dementia ward in the County Home. She got great care there. She woke up, in the early morning hours, and thought that she needed to go to the bathroom. So the staff took her into the bathroom, and it was a false alarm. They tucked her back in, and went off to check on the other residents down the hall, then they realized that she had stopped snoring, and came in to check on her. She died peacefully in her sleep. I got the call at 5 a.m. She had a very good life, with only a few regrets. She made it well past 91 years of age.

Now, my Dad, who is nearly a century old is slipping noticeably. He has also had a great life with only a few regrets. I will miss him terribly when he goes, hopefully peaceably.

As for myself, ever since I was drafted, I have expected to perish in a hail of flying metal. That may still happen, but it is far more likely now that I will depart the Vale of Tears as the result of complications of being sprayed with defoliant. That is what is killing a lot of my fellow Vietnam Veterans. It is pretty pathetic when you are forced to fight for an empire that uses chemical warfare on its own troops.







Bigsapper
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My condolences. Prayers for your Mom, you and your daughter.
Whitehat
Posts: 729
Incept: 2017-06-27

The People's Republic of New York
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rest in peace

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Jfms99
Posts: 278
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Msumelle, Ar
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Karl my sincerest condolences. Sounds like she lived a good life and went out on her terms, which for many is not possible. My own father died in December of 2016, he was 93 and went out on his own terms also to a degree.

My best to you and Sarah. Take care Karl.
Benthere
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Always hard to lose a parent even when you know its coming. I lost my mom three years before she passed, not knowing who she was or who we were.

Ive been fighting cancer for the last two years and I'm early 60's strong enough to give it a run and success rate for mine is 80 to 90 percent. Still I was pretty much done in at the end of treatment and if it pops up again I know the 80 to 90 % was optimistic and \I would have to think long and hard about giving chemo and radiation another go. I am still down 50 pounds and not eating well.

Nice to hear your Mom went out on her own terms and you and yours I'm sure shared moments and memories and are at peace.

Rickyd
Posts: 755
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Ontario, Canada
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I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your mother. My condolences to you and your family.

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"That day is coming again, for the same reason -- willful and intentional blindness toward a grossly over-extended economic picture fueled by debt accumulation that cannot permanently continue as a simple function of arithmetic."

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Aethor
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Online
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Tickerguy wrote..
she was lucid and, while bed-bound, mentally "all present and accounted for", and was clearly at peace with a passing she knew was not very far in the future


My condolences.

And, that was a kind of passing we all can wish for, when our time comes - clearly at peace with self and God.

Captainkidd
Posts: 1180
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Houston, Texas
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My condolences to you and your daughter.
And my respect to your mother.
When it's my turn, I choose to go that way, too.

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Snooze
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florida
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My condolences. My mother provided me with a fine example of not only how to live a good life but also how to leave this life with strength and dignity. You are blessed to have had the same.

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Oregoncactus
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I am so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and Sarah.
Skybluepink
Posts: 407
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RI
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So sorry for your loss. Your mom absolutely made the right decision. My mother also died of colon cancer, 20 years ago. She was diagnosed at 49 and passed at 51. She did all the treatments and it didn't help. I have often wondered if she would have been better off enjoying the time she had left without feeling like hell from the chemo and radiation.
Mekantor
Posts: 157
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Houston, TX
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Sorry for your loss, sounds like she was a good mom
Delphis
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Washington
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KD wrote..

To make it to nearly 90, to be able to get around and perform the ordinary functions of life until a week before you go, and to be lucid and have your mental faculties until the days remaining can be counted on the fingers of one hand pretty-much defines "a good death."


Sorry to hear this news, Karl.

I said aloud "88 is a good run" when I read the first paragraph...

Raising a glass to your Mother's lifetime as I press send...

Rest easy, indeed.

Cheers...

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"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."....Albert Einstein
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Wakeupcall
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Hampton Roads, VA
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My condolences Karl.

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Attilahooper
Posts: 2909
Incept: 2007-08-28

New York, by way of Montreal Canada.
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Condolences to you and Kaira. And cheers to your Mom, your parents must have had a significant influence on you to produce such a strident advocate of truth and justice. I thank your Mom for virtually meeting you in this, your venue, the Ticker Forum.

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