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2018-06-13 07:00 by Karl Denninger
in Outside Thoughts , 154 references Ignore this thread
Do Dumb Things, Win Dumb Prizes
[Comments enabled]

Yet another fool gets what they have coming to them....

A California woman was gored by a bison in Yellowstone National Park on Wednesday, park officials said.

Kim Hancock, 59, of Santa Rosa, was in a crowd of people walking along a boardwalk at Fountain Paint Pot in the Lower Geyser Basin when the attack occurred, according to a statement from Yellowstone.

So she got within 15 feet of a large, dangerous animal (any animal that large is dangerous) and it charged her.

Well?

Look folks, I get it.  It's all "oohs" and "ahhhhhs".

Yeah, ok.  Bears, wolves, elk, bison, wild hogs, alligators, mountain lions, there are plenty of living things that are large enough to severely injure or kill you.

If you are dumb enough to get close enough to one that you have no effective means of escape, no solid barrier between you and it and no means of immediate defense (e.g. a big gun) then you're asking for it.

99% of the time you won't get it anyway.  The other 1%, however....

I love the outdoors and spend plenty of time in places that would be considered "wild."  But I have respect for those things that live there.  Pajama people don't; they show up with their cellphones and want to take a "selfie" with a big Bison, and not only get way too damn close they often turn their back on it too, which is even more stupid.

I have zero sympathy for those who are stupid to the point of insanity and get what they deserve.  Places like Yellowstone are not zoos, there are no cages and the animals have every right to be there and to be left alone.

If you alter an animal's behavior by your presence or actions you are too damn close and have done a dumb thing.

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Jcneall
Posts: 10
Incept: 2010-07-23

Houston
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Its a symptom of the dependency class - which most of us are a part of. We spend so much time being protected by the "authorities", we're blind to the risks that are right in front of us. I don't thinks she's stupid. She's a product of our culture and very few of us (I'm sure you're a member of that few) are fully aware of the potential threats that are around us at all times.

Same reasoning applies to those who are against gun ownership. We live in a society that is safe compared to any other time in history.
Merlin
Posts: 24
Incept: 2017-07-25

Tulsa, OK.
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We *Really* need to stop asking "How dumb can people be". They keep taking it as a challenge.

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Weve tried the Soap Box, They censored that.
Weve tried the Ballot Box, They stuffed that.
Weve tried the Jury Box, They tamper with that.
All we have left is the Cartridge box.
Quik49
Posts: 4628
Incept: 2007-12-11

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Yup...amazes me....last year in jelly we came upon a heard of about 300 on the pass the Canyon....very few cars were there....I had buffs literally a foot or two outside my window walking by....instructed my peeps not to roll down windows or move...I've seen one in winter massacre a snowmobile....no thank you. Then we saw some idiot after they passed get out and start following them on the hillside...as a couple wolves were following the heard... idiot. Earlier that day saw a few bears...momma and Cubs....and there's pajama boy out there closing in....I yelled at him to get the **** back in his car this isn't the zoo...ignored....idiots get what they deserve

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Long Vaseline....

Bagbalm
Posts: 5447
Incept: 2009-03-19

Just North of Detroit
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Years of stupid movies like Grizzly Adams and Disney shows are somewhat to blame. People believe what they see as thoroughly as they do the other lies woven into the situation comedies and the 'news' that is thinly veiled propaganda.
Handyone55
Posts: 153
Incept: 2010-07-06

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If she dies we have a new Darwin Award.
Mangymutt
Posts: 584
Incept: 2015-05-03

Vancouver WA
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I usually get a kick out of these types of stories. What do these people expect to happen?

Although you can train an animal to act in a certain way, you cannot reason with them, no matter how hard you try.

When or if they feel threatened they will act in a way to defend themselves, and they feel no remorse if that causes pain or death.
Tripseven
Posts: 60
Incept: 2012-04-26

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Shhh...not too loud Karl. Nature is culling the human herd of idiocy.

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Please God, take it all away!
Aquapura
Posts: 735
Incept: 2012-04-19

South of Canada
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Bison are no joke. Was camping in Theo Roosevelt Natn'l Park, got up to******and right outside my tent within about 8 feet was one of those massive beasts. I backed away very slowly to put as much distance between us without spooking him. Thankfully he just wandered back into the prairie but I sure as **** didn't pull out a camera and snap off a flash.

This woman is lucky she was only gored. You get trampled and you're dead.
Wearedoomed
Posts: 4304
Incept: 2009-01-14

slightly red state
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Handyone55 wrote..
If she dies we have a new Darwin Award.
Unfortunately, if she has reproduced already, then she doesn't qualify.

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A collectivist defines peace as the silence of their enemies, through fear, imprisonment or death. That's how they define peace. - Mike Vanderboegh
Brandonhv
Posts: 1475
Incept: 2007-10-22

Mass
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You'll hear some idiots try to mount them like a mechanical bull.

I love my 38special anywhere
Attilahooper
Posts: 2865
Incept: 2007-08-28

New York, by way of Montreal Canada.
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I was searching for a recent vid to post, of a woman and child almost attacked by lions or leopards outside their car at a safari zoo. But there are so many vids of these darwin candidates, why bother.

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I've retired and bought Shecky's - Welcome, have fun, **** **** up, let's get this party started
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykZbxFub....

Alosix
Posts: 1055
Incept: 2009-03-31

Behind enemy lines..
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Got to see some of this in my hood this weekend.
We're in a group of a 100 or so houses right in the middle of Rosevelt National Forest.

Wild things that live here that will cause you issues:
* bear
* mount lion (den behind my house)
* coyptes
* elk

The mule deer and bighorn sheep (though stubborn as hell) seem to mostly not like humans.

So Sat Morning, right around sunrise some guy that must be out visiting it just pushing a stroller down the road with a small kid in it. This is a time of day I'm generally hesitant about walking the dogs and things are still out and about. Dude is just walking around in a polo pushing a snack :).

But then I work in a populated area that has bear problems because people can't seem to keep their trash in safe places.


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"Software Development is one of those jobs, like picking lettuce, or cleaning toilets, that Americans just refuse to do." : STCM
Nadavegan
Posts: 125
Incept: 2017-05-03

The South
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I worked in Yellowstone for a summer while in college. Lots and lots of stories of dummies like this one. At employee orientation they showed us a video of a guy getting gored by a bison, just to drive the lesson home. The guys next to me blanched at the video. I asked them about it. They were from France, and had just arrived at the park that day. On their way to the orientation, they stopped to run through a herd that was by the roadside. In my mind I always picture them arms wide, singing "The Hills Are Alive" or something. They realized they were lucky to be alive, and took the lesson seriously.

Lots of times, the employees cleaning the guest cabins would come out the door to find a bison napping at the base of the stairs. That meant you sat there on the porch until the bison was damn well ready to move. Or, you tried to convince an idiot coworker to throw rocks at it while you hid in the room and waited. There was never a shortage of rocks, nor idiots.

We had a guy mauled by a grizzly the summer I was there. Saw a cute widdle cub on the trail and tried to play with it.
Mangymutt
Posts: 584
Incept: 2015-05-03

Vancouver WA
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Quick49 - "and there's pajama boy out there closing in....I yelled at him to get the **** back in his car this isn't the zoo"

Why did you yell at him to get back? Why???????
Acebarefoot
Posts: 185
Incept: 2009-05-20

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According to the web a typical female bison is around 1100 lbs and males can be up to 2000 lbs.

Yeah...think about that coming at you for a minute....
Chaparral
Posts: 383
Incept: 2007-09-11

Los Angeles
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Ehh, the bison was just trying to keep the Californians from moving in and turning the state blue.


Is there some sort of award we can give the bison?
Flaps10
Posts: 6885
Incept: 2008-10-17

PNW
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I wish I could find a link for that hippy guy in Alaska that was a bear advocate. Swore he could get into a bears head.

Apparently found his way into ones digestive tract too. They found his watch in some bear ****.
Ckaminski
Posts: 4682
Incept: 2011-04-08

Mass-Hole!
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Sadly, they found his girlfriend too, if it's the same guy we're talking about.

So, back in the day I took a trip through the Six Flags over NJ drive-thru safari park, where they ask you to stay in your car with your windows up. Which I appreciated when the emus decided to attack my windshield wipers to get at the debris/bugs.

But the best part of the drive was passing by a car with a blown radiator near the lion cage (easily 20+ feet of fence vertically). I happened to have a small crate of water in the minivan so my buddy (about 5'2" of lanky stature) decides to boyscout it over to the stricken motorist.

At this point I'm more watching the half-dozen lions in the cage, all of whom were bored and sunning themselves. Until his feet hit the dirt and he turned back into the car to get the water. I've never seen so many animals (4 females) move so fast and so far without ever standing up. He had their attention in a split second and didn't even know it.

Thankfully he was on the right side of a really tall chain link fence, but I did motivate him to move faster. Best not to test the contracting ability of the lowest bidder.

Wearedoomed
Posts: 4304
Incept: 2009-01-14

slightly red state
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Flaps10 wrote..
I wish I could find a link for that hippy guy in Alaska that was a bear advocate.
This might help:

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A collectivist defines peace as the silence of their enemies, through fear, imprisonment or death. That's how they define peace. - Mike Vanderboegh
Oliver1655
Posts: 112
Incept: 2012-08-02

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Working around farm livestock can get you injured or killed even if you have lots of experience. You can get stepped on, kicked, crushed between gates and walls and a whole host of other injuries as well.
Even domesticated animals don't like loud noises, yelling, or being approached where they cannot see you and can be especially agitated by little things. Wild animals are wholly unpredictable at ALL times.

Even with holding pens and gates things can go very wrong very fast witness the Youtube branding kick below.




Sancho
Posts: 36
Incept: 2013-12-06

Way, way south of Rio Grande
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Quik49 wrote..
Earlier that day saw a few bears...momma and Cubs....and there's pajama boy out there closing in....


No...probably he has met an actual pajama boy and is following the biblical proverbs (Proverbs 17:12)

Cannot stop laughing. I selected that one for my profile. Never thought that I would actually read about someone closing in to a bear with her cubs.

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Face a bear robbed of her cubs,
but never a fool in his folly!
Proverbs 17:12
Vernonb
Posts: 2118
Incept: 2009-06-03

East of Sheol
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We have it all but the gators and bison here. Even domestic livestock can efff you up if you don't show proper respect or caution.

It's an animal. It is governed primarily by instict. Most of the time the herbivores will simply tolerate you unless it perceives you as a threat. They are not your friends.

Just like people animals have personalities too. No two are exactly the same.

Too much hollyweird...stupid is as stupid does.

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"Mass intelligence does not mean intelligent masses."
Quik49
Posts: 4628
Incept: 2007-12-11

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Mangy....while the idea occurred to let him get his ass kicked, my thought was should that happen there would be a outcry and likely result of said animal....wolf or buff getting put down for being aggressive.... it happens all too often when a dumass is a dumass

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Long Vaseline....

Gauntlet33
Posts: 59
Incept: 2009-03-30

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I glanced at the linked article, and it says, "An investigation is underway", so rest assured people that the attacking bison will be brought to justice... ;)
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